Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.

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  (732): Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD. http://tfl.nu/fbqj
  Replies (9) Good night (481) Bad night (3010) Order T-Shirt
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?

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  (571): is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided? http://tfl.nu/vrm3
  Replies (8) Good night (3179) Bad night (873) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.

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  (805): he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet. http://tfl.nu/znz0
  Replies (11) Good night (714) Bad night (3581) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!

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  (303): Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties! http://tfl.nu/mly2
  Replies (12) Good night (727) Bad night (4577)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.

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  (740): The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story. http://tfl.nu/x6qv
  Replies (18) Good night (6362) Bad night (716) Order T-Shirt
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  (323): View more from California

  I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning

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  (323): I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning http://tfl.nu/dryp
  Replies (22) Good night (5723) Bad night (971) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....

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  (313): An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it.... http://tfl.nu/pvzg
  Replies (8) Good night (883) Bad night (2566) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet

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  (707): I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet http://tfl.nu/0aqf
  Replies (10) Good night (1633) Bad night (3356) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.

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  (614): Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning. http://tfl.nu/meuz
  Replies (11) Good night (2018) Bad night (911) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...

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  (310): Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair... http://tfl.nu/dvxl
  Replies (4) Good night (2091) Bad night (575) Order T-Shirt
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..

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  (507): Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival.. http://tfl.nu/pwlv
  Replies (6) Good night (1337) Bad night (479)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?

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  (603): She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep? http://tfl.nu/8ccn
  Replies (11) Good night (1321) Bad night (550) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry

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  (516): so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry http://tfl.nu/npqz
  Replies (5) Good night (1015) Bad night (1128)
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  (805): View more from California

  It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.

  (1-805): View more from California

  That's kinky shit dude.

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  (805): It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening. (1-805): That's kinky shit dude. http://tfl.nu/fc85
  Replies (9) Good night (775) Bad night (1001)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge

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  (404): I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge http://tfl.nu/wfh9
  Replies (1) Good night (621) Bad night (202)

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