Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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