eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be your penis for a week.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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