So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
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