We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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