I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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