fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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