im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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