Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize