I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
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I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
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I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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