come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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