I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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