so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize