You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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