It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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