like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize