I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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