He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize