he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
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you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
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Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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