mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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