Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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