No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
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