I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
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Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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