I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
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Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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