the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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