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I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
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