The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize