I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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