He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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