Soap is not a condiment
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
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