i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
FUCK WHALES
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize