do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
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