my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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