she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
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She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
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The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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