where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
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It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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