Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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