like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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