no, he came in my armpit
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize