obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liz is crying about burritos again.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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