Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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