Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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