Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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