Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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