Little spoons don't ask big questions
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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