R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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