doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
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sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
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I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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