He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
did you just send me my own nude
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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