margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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