Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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