Plan B is the new Plan A
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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